Do you guys remember how kidnap fantasies were popular on wattpad because young girls and queer teens were both made to feel shame at the thought of their own sexualities, so the fantasy of being kidnapped totally against their will was a way for them to engage with a romantic or sexual fantasy without feeling morally in the wrong for doing so? Added bonus that the fantasy involved being whisked away from repressive environments like home or school, right?
Finding out that Bram Stoker was in a sexless marriage and that scholars believe that he very likely was closeted gay puts the entire book into perspective as to WHY it reads EXACTLY like a self insert wattpad Dracula kidnap fic:
“I TOTALLY love my wife and would never do anything that an upstanding Good Straight Working Man wouldn’t do but oh nooo, big strong man with broad back and strong enough arms to carry me back to bed like a princess trapped me and claimed me as his, completely against my will 👉👈 But he protects me against the bad evil sexual women (who I assure you, I am TOTALLY sexually attracted to, as any straight man with a choice would be) but trust me, I do NOT want ANY of this. What’s that? The Count is not capable of feeling love? Would be a shame if I had the special ability to change tha-”
This is also the fantasy behind all those old bodice-ripper romances that people today like to mock or call problematic, by the way.
“Oh, my next forty years are going to consist of nothing but washing dishes and keeping house and bearing children for the disdainful man I married right out of high school because my parents said college was for men and I had no other obvious life path open to me? What if a pirate captain thought I was worth stealing away from it all? [what if I ran away but no-one could blame me for leaving]?”
yeah like. kinks are extremely rarely just about whatever they look like on the surface, ESPECIALLY the more taboo kinks like rape kink/CNC. there are many reasons CNC/rape fic and kidnapping tropes appeal to people besides this too - there’s different levels of power dynamics at play (what if you have to spend all your time in charge/directing/controlling everything? wouldnt it be nice to just… have someone steal you away and take care of everything for you?) as well as levels of devotion/desire (the kidnapper who spent so much time and effort secreting you away and taking you somewhere they can keep you, while horrifying in real life, can very much become an escapist fantasy in fiction)
theres another post thats like “everyone should have mutuals with really weird kinks they dont share so they understand people with kinks are just Some Guy” and this is part of why. it’s easy to kneejerk and assume horrible things about people, but like… kink is just elaborate make believe, and when it’s fiction you don’t have to fake as much bc its ALL fake
i think a lot of people also believe that if they like the right things and demonize people with the “wrong” kinks (or any kinks at all) that they can avoid harm from abusive people. but that’s not how it works and not how it’s ever worked
how many queer people have been accused of being sexual degenerates and child groomers, by the very same cis, straight people who are actually doing the grooming?
the problem isn’t the fantasies, or the sex people have with other consenting adults. the problem is the actual actions they take in the real world to harm others.
The number of notes, in just the past 12h, saying something to the extent of, “Whoa! That explains things!” is frankly staggering.
Is this the missing piece of knowledge that could stop at least some of the kink shaming and puritanism? Do we need to reblog this to death?
Also, wait till you find out where the and-there-was-only-one-bed trope comes from… Snowed in in a cabin! Stuck on an elevator! Uhhh. People.
‘you should have a separate sideblog for each of your interests’ actually my followers like the variety. they love to see me liveblog an anxiety attack and reblog 10 gifsets of my favorite little meow meow seconds later. its enrichment for them
Hot take: “this piece of fiction offended me, a marginalised person” doesn’t mean “this piece of fiction inherently contributes to dehumanisation of marginalised people”. Different people experience oppression and marginalisation differently. What’s dehumanising for one person can be validating and empowering for other. Tropes one person find offensive could be a reflection of other person’s lived experience.
For example, some gay men feel objectified by BL works but some other gay men actually enjoy BL, identify as fudanshi (male fans of BL) and relate to BL characters.
Some women hate “damsel in distress” trope, other women feel validated looking at a fictional woman whose value is not tied to her achievements, who is important and worth risking lives for her regardless of what she can or can’t do.
Some abuse survivors believe any fictional depiction of abuse that’s not all pain and suffering is romanticising it. Other abuse survivors such as myself experienced pain and suffering mixed with happy moments, genuine romantic feelings and great sex so “romanticised” abuse in fiction is an actual representation of my experience.
Please remember that your mileage may vary and being a marginalised person is not an excuse to advocate for censorship of all fiction you find offensive.
THAT FABRIC IS NOT CALLING TO YOU! LEAVE IT ALONE!
boy it’s me the textiles speaking to you inside your head. you need the yarn. you need thread. your soul hungers to participate in the act of creation. you must feed it. you must buy so many beads.
